The Lousypoet

Back to work today. I feel like crap. I don’t have a sore throat anymore, but I’m starting to cough up crap. I got lots of sleep last night, but I still feel exhausted. Maybe that’s just psychological ’cause I’d really rather be staying home

So my meeting yesterday was quite different from what I had expected and I, surprisingly, found it actually quite productive.

First, a little background…. Several months ago we were given surveys to fill out about our workplace. From what I understand, not all that was said was flattering to our management. Now, flash forward to yesterday, the same group that had issued the surveys to us was having a series of meetings between staff and management. Now, what I expected was that this was going to be in direct relation to the surveys and their contents, and that things would quickly degrade into a non-productive bitching match where little got resolved and the only end result would be bitterness.

So imagine my surprise when the first thing the person who was leading the session says is that she hasn’t read the surveys. All I could wonder was why the hell we were wasting our time! But what became quickly apparent was that we weren’t there to discuss the surveys, we were there to learn tools of communication that would allow us to better resolve our issues ourselves.

What I walked away realising is that I avoid conflict. But what was pointed out is that conflict is actually a good thing. Through conflict we define ourselves as separate. Through conflict we create vehicles for change. Now naturally, conflict on too grand a scale between two entities that refuse to even listen to each other is probably a bad thing, but as it was pointed out to us, if you have a conflict with another person, you need to address it and “finish it.” Our instructor put it simply, “If you go home and you are still thinking about the person you had a conflict with, you didn’t finish things, even if you thought you did.” I see the logic in this and it made a good impression on me. We did this exercise where a person made a statement, and then we found out more information by asking “Do you mean…” and the person could only answer yes or no. It sounds simplistic, but it showed just how wordy we are, and how much we push people into saying so much more than they really need to.

One of the other things that we discussed, that I think made a big impact on us all, was the negative impact of gossip. I have to say, we are all guilty of this. In our workplace, when there are no calls, we aren’t allowed to do anything else, so idle hands do the work of the devil, and we start to gab. As one of my co-workers put so succinctly, the brain shuts down and the mouth runs off. It was something that we all agreed was a simple thing to work on that would make a positive change in our workplace.

It was an odd feeling of being empowered yet chastised all at the same time. However, it is not often that I leave a work experience feeling as though I truly gained some insight. Yesterday I can say that I did. Booyah! I can only hope that all the remaining groups have the same experience and we don’t have to be opposing each other to make positive change.

So I worked a night shift last night. You know, working 12 hour shifts can be great because it means more time off in the long run, but when you’re fighting a sinus infection, it can be a looooong shift! I came home this morning and felt like I was going to be sick because I was just so tired. And tonight, I have to do the same thing all over again. I would call in sick, but I’m thinking I’m short on the sick time, and I don’t want to get a bad rep for calling in on a Friday night that also happens to be my last shift for a couple of days. So I’ll go, and if I really can’t do it because I’m too sick, at least I can say I tried and there will be witnesses to testify that I really was sick and not just trying to take an extended weekend.

Anyway, just felt like sharing. I think head colds are the worst. I hate that foggy feeling and the headaches that go along with it

So I didn’t end up on the worst desk last night, nor did I feel totally useless or swear in copious amounts. But I feel that desk looms in my near future.

My big plans for the 2 hours I have before work? Mowing the lawn. I have to say, I truly hate mowing the lawn. I understand it has to be done and all, but I just despise it. Oh well, not like cleaning the rabbit cage or the fish tank was a ton of fun either. Whee.

So Carolyn has posted her first photo manipulation piece over at DeviantArt. It looks fantastic and she’s getting quite a bit of positive feedback on it. I’m pretty proud and looking forward to what she does next. If you want to check it out, head over to her deviant art account (at http://a-fire-within.deviantart.com) and check out the piece called Forgotten.

So not much else to say or do. I slept all day in anticipation of my night shift tonight. Whee…

I think that Whee shall be my new online catch phrase.

So I sit here languishing away in front of my computer. I am accomplishing nothing except updating Microsoft Money and realising how little money I currently have and calculating how $100 can last the family for the next week. We have enough food, so I suppose it just amounts to having no fun that costs money Whee, isn’t life fun!

After two weeks of being free from work, I return tonight on the night shift. I imagine that the busiest dispatch desk awaits me and that my evening will be filled with feeling rusty, useless, and swearing in copious amounts. Once again, see my Whee comment…

And inspite of great hopes, I got nothing grand accomplished. Sure, I did some laundry, that rests on my bedroom floor awaiting my cleanup efforts. And I suppose I will get the rabbit cage cleaned out today… Yes, a very productive time off indeed. I had hoped to start some sort of project; something arty and stimulating. However, I once again accomplished nothing to feed that particular itch. All I’ve managed to do is stare at the works of others and feel this burning envy and admiration that I might quell if I could ever tap into my own creative self; or just accept that I have no talent in any creative manner and dutifully accept my place in the universe.

So where is all of this going? I’ve even done a lousy posting on this blog. I guess I just haven’t had much to say. Not that I say anything different on a usual basis. Most articles are, pathetically, about how I’m not accomplishing those things which I dream and desire.

Ah well, on to my day. I need to clean the rabbit, put away laundry and get some sleep to prepare for the night shift. Whee….